Maitengwe Weekend Trending Stories — With Yours Truly

Yours Truly was flipping through the Good Book this week — Exodus Chapter 20 to be precise — when the verse about remembering the Sabbath and keeping it holy stopped me in my tracks. As I kept reading Numbers, Leviticus, and Deuteronomy, one thing became strikingly clear: the Sabbath isn’t just another commandment; it’s emphasized over and over again.
And that got Yours Truly thinking… if we are so eager to obey all the other commandments, yet twist and interpret the Sabbath to suit our ways, is it not that a bit of hypocrisy? Just saying. Anyway, Yours Truly is not SDA, but still — Happy Sabbath to you all! Hallelujah.
There’s truly nothing new under the sun. Lately, Yours Truly has noticed an interesting trend — an unusual rise in the number of press conferences. And if history has taught us anything, an increase in pressers often signals changing weather patterns in the corridors of power.
This week, Yours Truly got hold of two explosive documents — the kind that zimbo insiders love to call “dossiers.” The first came from the vice-captain, accusing the team of underperforming and hinting at possible match-fixing involving outside forces.
The team management was handed the dossier, and not to be outdone, the team captain fired back with his own document, vigorously defending his camp. The vice-captain wrapped up with a cold line:
“I have listened to all your presentations and have concluded that you all support the match-fixers.”
After the very public exchange of blows, the team retreated to Mutare for its end-of-year bash, where they displayed a united front — though the vice-captain’s fiery speech to supporters reminded everyone that all is not entirely well.
Yours Truly is watching closely. The team is clearly in a rough season, searching for form in its leadership. A humble word from Yours Truly: Unity, ma comrades. You have come a long way together.

Chitungwiza Chronicles — The Legend of Bla Matsotsi
Now to Chitungwiza, where the name Bla Matsotsi has been striking fear into hearts for years. This man was said to be so dangerous that no one dared to touch him. Rumour even had it that whenever he was arrested, his juju powers would somehow spring him back to the streets to continue his reign of terror.
Real name: Aluis Luciano — a serial and ruthless robber. Residents had just started to breathe easy after his arrest… but alas, the relief was short-lived. Bla Matsotsi was rearrested on Tuesday after allegedly committing fresh robberies in St Mary’s on October 13 and 14.
On the 13th, he and his accomplices cornered 23-year-old Obert Chamunorwa at Huruyadzo Shopping Centre, threatened him with a knife, and made off with US$85. The next day, he attacked Memory Matanga, a heavily pregnant woman, stabbing her in the palm when she refused to cross the road toward him.
Police had to point a gun at him just to bring him down. This is not his first dance with the law either — he’s facing 15 other counts of attempted murder, robbery, and assault, including threatening his own mother and brother during a previous arrest.
Magistrate Evelyn Mashavakure remanded him in custody to October 30 after he absconded court earlier. That’s Bla Matsotsi for you — danger personified.

But not everyone’s week was as bright. Our Mpampara of the Week crown goes to none other than Zandile Dudula, who thought she could ride on sports to divide people. The sister received a rude awakening when her “stockvel party” managed to scrape together just 3% of the vote in her own backyard during a recent by-election. Eish.
Meanwhile, someone please update Yours Truly on what’s happening to Floyd’s stokvel — is the party coming or going? Mayibuye iAfrica ?

SADC Watch — Questions in the Air
Oh, by the way — SADC has a new chair. Or does it? The Colonel of Madagascar stepped in after the President fell, but Yours Truly has already sent some clarity questions to SADC Protocol. After all, the incumbent was removed undemocratically. So who is the legal chair now? Watch this space.

East Africa Mourns — Raila Odinga Passes Away
The East African region is in mourning. Baba Raila Odinga breathed his last on Wednesday in India, where he was receiving medical attention. A towering figure in politics has fallen. MHSRIP.

North Africa — Oh Cry, My Beloved Continent
Further north, Cameroon held elections. And guess what? The incumbent, Paul Biya, at 91 years old, is tipped to win again. By the end of this term, he will be 99. Let that sink in. The man has been in power since 1982. Oh, cry my beloved Africa.

And with that…
Till next week, Yours Truly is signing out. Play responsibly, laugh responsibly — lest someone accuses you of laughing at them.
I’m out. ????️