Maitengwe Weekend Trending Stories — With Yours Truly

By Yours Truly
It’s been a week of pain, shame, and confusion.
Pain — for the grieving families of the 42 Polokwane bus accident victims.
Shame — for the die-hard followers of usis Zandile “Dull Dudula” Dabula.
And confusion — for my beloved Zimbabwe, where a dynasty seems to be rising like a shadow in the horizon.
Welcome, dear readers, to this week’s edition of Maitengwe Weekend Trending Stories — with Yours Truly. Hallelujah!
Before we dive into the drama, Yours Truly pauses for a moment of silence — for the 42 fallen souls whose remains were finally ferried home from Polokwane yesterday.
May the families find comfort in the arms of the Holy Spirit.To all who lost loved ones — Yours Truly sends heartfelt condolences. All is not lost, beloved. There is a new city, a new Jerusalem, where we shall one day walk hand in hand as citizens of eternity.
Hallelujah.
Now, back to business. Over the weekend, Zimbabwe Saints Football Club held its annual general meeting in Mutare. Yours Truly was following closely — popcorn in hand — and I must say, I was baffled. Imagine this: a football club, just one club, passing resolutions as though it were the Supreme Council of the League!
And to spice things up — the team captain, who’s clearly in the evening of his life, refuses to hang up his boots. His contract is expiring soon, but the man clings to the captain’s armband like it’s a royal sceptre. The supporters? Oh, they were clapping and dancing — cheering for a dynasty in the making! It reminded me of Paul’s words:
“Oh foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you?”
Or in our tongue: Magalatia mahle, liloywe mbani?
To the vice-captain, Yours Truly says — be still.
For in the fullness of time, you shall wear that armband.
That’s prophecy, straight from Yours Truly.
In other news: Midweek found Yours Truly sitting in the back benches of a Harare courtroom, watching one of the most chilling cases in recent memory. Enter Bridget Makaza — the devil’s own sister in human form.
In 2018, she shot her husband, MaCloud Zvavovaviri Mapanga, the man behind Kurai Coaches, as he slept peacefully beside her. Three bullets to the upper body — cold, precise, and calculated.
After the act, she shouted “Thief! Thief!” and staged a fake robbery, even running to Mabelreign Police Station to sell her lies.
But the truth always finds light.
When the judge handed her 27 years, the courtroom fell silent.
As the handcuffs clicked, Yours Truly whispered under breath:
“We’ll see you in 2052, satan.”
And then, Yours Truly hopped over to Madagascar, where a real-life drama unfolded.
The former president, Andry Rajoelina, reportedly ordered the army to shoot protesters demanding water and electricity.
But the soldiers, led by Colonel Michael Randrianirina, said, “Nada!”
Next thing we knew — the Colonel became the new number one civil servant.
What a plot twist! Even Nollywood would take notes.
Now, let’s return to our southern neighbours.
It has become Yours Truly’s sacred duty to check on my “sister,” Zandile Dabula of Operation Dudula fame — though after this week, I might just disown her.
She went on live television, looking bold and confident — until a journalist dropped a simple question:
“Ms. Dabula, what do you understand by the term frontline states?”
The silence that followed was biblical.
“Ehmm… ehh… frontline states… hmm… it means… people shall govern… freedom charter… hmm… the country is on auto-pilot… hmm… that’s where Operation Dudula comes in…”
Oh, my word! The woman waffled like a broken record.
For a political leader not to know what a frontline state is? That’s not just embarrassing — it’s a national disaster.
With all due respect, South Africa, Yours Truly returns your daughter to you.
Handle her with care — or better yet, with books. But then that’s what you get if your country’s pass mark is 30%... Yes its 30% in South Africa.
And that, dear readers, wraps up this weekend’s edition of Maitengwe Weekend Trending Stories with Yours Truly.
Remember to love your family, cherish your neighbours, and stay blessed — to bless others.
Until next time…
I am out. Hallelujah!